Log in

No account? Create an account
Nov. 23rd, 2006 @ 01:08 pm
Date:November 24th, 2006 03:03 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
technically, I think everything is grammatically correct. however, you use this sentence structure a lot: "[something] is/are [something something something]." that's okay sometimes, but doing it 5 times in a row, for example, as you do at the beginning of the paragraph, can get a little tiring for the reader. maybe you could change that up a little...
(also, your last sentence is a fragment, but people do that for effect sometimes, so it might be okay.)
(Reply) (Thread)